Today we are going to talk about how you can get “UNSTUCK” and start creating a KICKASS life for yourself right now!

WHY YOU ARE WHERE YOU ARE

In the last episode of the podcast we talked about WHY you are where you are in your life right now.

We got an understanding of how your CHOICES in the past got you to where you are today.

We also talked about the need to OWN YOUR SH*T and take responsibility for those CHOICES and how the ones you continue to make, each and every day, create your current reality and future results.

So today, for those of you who want different results, let’s tie those things together with a way that you can get yourself “UNSTUCK” and on the path to creating the results you want in your life…on purpose.

THE FRAMEWORK FOR GETTING “UNSTUCK”

So the framework that I personally use, and use with all my coaching clients, for getting “UNSTUCK” breaks down into 3 different steps.

Step #1 – Define WHERE and WHO you are right now.

Step #2 – Decide WHAT YOU WANT and WHY YOU WANT IT.

Step #3 – Create an ACTION PLAN and then IMPLEMENT > EVALUATE > ITERATE.

Let’s break down each step and little further so you can get started…

STEP #1 – Defining WHERE and WHO you are right now

The first thing we need to do is to determine WHERE you are in your life right now.

What does that mean? 

It means looking at the results you are currently getting in your life and deciding if you like them or not.

It means determining how satisfied you are with your life right now.

For this we use a tool called the “LIFE DESIGN DASHBOARD”.

It is a great way to show us our starting point by letting us know exactly how we view our life right now.

It also gives you a great way to visualize, quantify and track the results you are getting in your life on an ongoing basis.

The DASHBOARD is broken down into 5 sections (like gauges on car dashboard)…WORK/CAREER, PLAY/HOBBIES, FITNESS/HEALTH, CONNECTIONS/RELATIONSHIPS and IMPACT/PURPOSE.

On the DASHBOARD you rate each of these categories on a scale from 0-10 (0 being the lowest and 10 the highest) on how fulfilled you are in this area your life right now.

For example, if you are overweight and out of shape you may give the FITNESS/HEALTH section a “3”.

Or, if you mostly like your job but it could be better you may rate the WORK/CAREER section a “7”.

You get the point.

Whatever your ratings are, and whether you like them or not, the DASHBOARD is a great way to show you a visual representative of your life right now and the results you are getting.

Next, we need to determine WHO you are right now.

Think of this as taking a self inventory of everything you are bringing to the table at this moment.

It doesn’t have to be hard and you don’t need any special tools or worksheets.

Take out a blank sheet of paper and make 4 columns.

Use the columns to make a list of your current SKILLS, STRENGTHS, CAPABILITIES and VALUES.

Now, flip the paper over, and on the back make 3 columns.

Here is where you will make a list of what we call your “unmet needs”.

Use the DASHBOARD sections as a guide and list things that are frustrating you, that you are struggling with or that you are missing in each section of your life right now.

This self-audit will give you a good understanding of your current reality.

Now it’s time to see if you want to create a different one.

STEP #2 – WHAT DO YOU WANT? WHY DO YOU WANT IT?

Now that we know WHO we are right now, and where we are starting from, the next thing we need to do is determine where we want to go and why we want to go there.

Go back to the DASHBOARD and take a look at the ratings you gave each section.

Now determine what would make each of those sections a solid “10”.

If this part of your life (work, fitness, etc) was “ideal” what would it look like?

What would it take to make it exactly what you wanted?

Write down everything that comes up for you.

Don’t edit or judge…just write.

We will filter your answers down later.

For now just list everything that comes to mind.

Here is a little warning…

It’s going to be easy to say “I don’t know” but…

You can’t settle for that answer.

If you let “I don’t know” dominate your thinking this will lead to a feeling(s) (anxious, frustrated, overwhelmed) that will keep you “STUCK” in some way.

This is where you need to “do the work” and call BULLSHIT on yourself for two reasons.

One…because your brain defaults to “I don’t know” automatically. 

It does that to be efficient and to keep you safe and comfortable.

Exactly like it’s supposed to do.

Because once your brain starts thinking CHANGE it goes on high alert.

It’s looking for threats and dangers in attempt to protect you.

And when that happens all kind of other stuff comes up for you.

The fears, uncertainties and self-doubt creep in to save you.

So, understand that your brain is just doing it’s job…but we need to override that for right now.

And two…because you really do know.

Right now your brain is resisting answering the question because…

You might not believe it’s possible to have the things that you want.

Or you might fear that you can’t have them.

You might even be scared of the truth when it comes deciding what you want.

But, you can’t let those feelings stop you.

It may take some poking, prodding and a little time to get it out…but you really do know what you want in your life.

So, when your “I don’t know” brain keeps showing up, ask yourself these questions to help….

• If you had to guess what would you say?
• if you had a BIG RED EASY BUTTON what would you choose?
• If Genie popped up and granted you 3 wishes in this area of your life what would you wish for?
• What are first few things that come immediately to mind?
• What if you didn’t care what other people would think?
• If anything was absolutely possible what would you pick?

Do the work.

Write it all out.

THIS IS IMPORTANT SHIT.

Deep down you know.

WHY DO YOU WANT IT?

So you came up with a list of results that you want in your life.

Now it’s time to find out WHY you want those things?

Most people don’t think about why they want what they want.

It’s important to know why YOU want what you want for a few reasons.

The first is to determine if your why is really your why.

Or if it’s someone else in disguise.

Is it something that YOU TRULY WANT or something that someone thinks YOU SHOULD HAVE/BE or DO?

Is it really an internal desire of yours or is some external reason driving your want for this result?

The second reason to get clear your WHY is to understand and KNOW your reasons for wanting.

That way YOU can determine if you like them or not.

The reason you want a certain thing may be a true desire of yours but you may find out that you don’t really like the reason behind it.

And the third is to determine if it’s a strong enough “WHY”.

BIG RESULTS REQUIRE BIG WHYS.

If you want a BIG RESULT in your life you need to determine if your reason for wanting it is POWERFUL ENOUGH.

The WHY needs to be POWERFUL ENOUGH FOR YOU to lead to the COMMITMENT you need to reach your goal.

Because if your WHY isn’t POWERFUL enough, when things start to get tough or not work out the way you planned, your COMMITMENT will start to waiver.

When your COMMITMENT waivers you will use setbacks as evidence that things aren’t working, and that you won’t get achieve the result you are after.

Then…you QUIT.

A POWERFUL ENOUGH WHY will keep you COMMITTED to your goal, despite those setbacks, and will use them instead to build your RESILIENCE and CONFIDENCE as you keep moving forward.

I hope this helps get you started and on the next episode I will cover Step #3 of the framework…creating your action plan and then IMPLEMENT/EVALUATE/ITERATE.

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