What an absolute SHIT STORM.

Just one month ago everything felt pretty normal.

But now, our lives have been tuned upside down and we don’t even know what the hell hit us.

Most of us are now stuck at home not even knowing what fucking day it is (pretty sure it’s Thursday)…let alone when this nightmare will come to an end.

As the chaos is happening all around us, and in some cases TO us, it’s hard to understand and articulate exactly how we are feeling.

Anxious? Damn right.

Stressed? You better believe it.

Depressed? Probably.

Pissed off? Definitely.

All of the above? That and more.

So, as I thought about trying to put a label on the way I was feeling, and to then find a way to feel better, I came across this article by HBR which I think really hits the nail on the head.

A BIG PART OF WHAT WE ARE ALL ACTUALLY FEELING IS…

 GRIEF!

And, as the article interestingly points out, we are probably feeling “a number of different griefs”.

Why grief?

Well, we all know that things have changed and will probably never be the same.

Much like 9/11 we know that life as we have known it is long gone and will never return.

Or, like when we lose a loved one. They are actually gone and we will never be able to see them again.

So, a lot of what we are actually feeling right now is the same thing.

What we are feeling LOSS.

Loss of NORMALCY.

Loss of CONNECTION.

Loss of INCOME or BUSINESS REVENUE.

Loss of CONTROL.

And, because we feel this collectively (it’s worldwide), and we aren’t used it, this feeling of LOSS is amplified.

A DIFFERENT KIND OF GRIEF

And, we’re also feeling what is described as “anticipatory grief”.

Anticipatory grief is that feeling we get about what the future holds when we’re uncertain.

Like when we know that the BIG NASTY STORM (the virus, etc) is out there but we don’t know what the future brings our way because of it.

Or, when we imagine our future looking one way and now we aren’t so sure.

That’s unhealthy anticipatory grief…and it’s really anxiety.

So, we are grieving here as well.

For our LOSS…of security and control.

So, with all this loss, what we are all feeling is GRIEF OF EPIC PROPORTIONS right now.

NO WONDER WE ALL FEEL LIKE SHIT.

So how do we get through this?

Even though it may not seem like it right now, we all know this situation is temporary and we will eventually get through it.

But, what can we do in the meantime to make things better?

These are my thoughts on how to get out of the funk…

Have acceptance – Understanding and having the mindset that says “This is happening and there in nothing I can do about it”. Accepting the fact that this whole thing is happening and it’s totally out of your ability to control it. It just is.

Activate a “I CAN/I WILL” Attitude – But, by quickly adding “So I have to figure out a way to proceed…no matter what” to the above gives us our power and control back. You may not be able to control the big picture but there are plenty of things you can control…if you choose to do so. So what do you do? You are a very smart and capable MAN. So, you improvise and overcome. You FIGURE SHIT OUT AND MOVE FORWARD. “I can connect with friends virtually. I can learn new skills. I can find a new job (a maybe even better) job. I can go workout so I don’t feel like lazy slob.” Knowing that you CAN and deciding that you WILL (no matter what) puts you back in the drivers seat.

Control Your Thoughts – Our mind is very good at painting a very vivid “worst case” scenario picture for us to freak the fuck out about. The trick is not to try to make those thoughts go away (they won’t) but to combat them with thoughts and visions with more positive outcomes. Balance it out. Instead of the thought of your world coming to an end replace it with the opposite or at least better outcome. Maybe it’s not a thought about finding your dream job (maybe it is) but maybe finding a job quicker than you thought possible. Control your mind by intentionally thinking better thoughts.

Help Others – When times are tough and uncertain it can be hard to focus on anything but your own situation. But everyone around you, in one way or another, is suffering right now. So, how might you be able to help other people right now? How might you be able to make the situation better for them? It’s not about being a hero in a time of need but more about finding meaning and purpose in a time where YOU may need it most.

There are a few more suggestions in the HBR article that may help you so take a look if you’re curious.

And, even though times are dark right now understand that we are all in this together and we will find a way through it.

I hope this helps.